10:14 AM
i don't like guys paying attention to me.Especially if they are not your close friends. or have never been.
because I am scared.
Ever since him, I have been scared. I have put a shield around me. I don't want it to happen again. I won't let it happen again.
let him be whatever. I will not do anything and I will just keep doing what i want to do...problem is it's not going to be easy.
But HEY. I'm not just anybody. I'm a tough chick. I can do this. I WILL get through this thing. It is nothing, it means nothing. It will not and never mean anything.
Good night. I am carrying this secret to the grave. I think i am finding out that it has lately become harder for me to tell people things unless they korek it from me. At first it was okay....it seemed okay. But suddenly macam....things are becoming weird and I don't like it anymore. I can't tell anybody and I won't because I feel embarrassed and not really wanting it to be known...maybe i'll tell SY-chan because we tell each other everything out of habit, down to when we wash our hair. But i can't tell nad....or mar...they're my best friends but I just feel that if I deal with this on my own it will be over much faster.