yay. insomnia hitting the target again.
9:35 AM
Now, if I had insomnia during exam time (or say, even just during lecture time or normal school time) I would be duly grateful.Of course it probably has something to do with the fact that I wake up at something close to noon, and sometimes even go right back to sleep (it's amazing. how do I manage to do that? I can sleep at any hour except the hour that people are supposed to sleep.) but argh, it just comes and goes, this sleep thing. Although it more often than not comes at truly inappropriate times, and go when you really need it.
He's online. I told myself to just ask him if he's there...what the hell, doesn't matter - but I can't. It's probably owing to the fact that 1) I do not date. 2) You can't just simply ask any old guy out for a wedding invitation no less! 3) I just don't have the nerve.
So what now? It's either going with him, or the old friends whom I don't really know or something IF nazifah refuses, heaven forbid. Ohpleaseohplease let her come. I really really need it. I don't to go with him, I don't want to go with my old friends, I don't want to trump along with Mar and Adil either. (like hell they'd let me anyway. ehhehehee. Even if I AM their planner.) But I must go, Irma's invited me and it's important that I go for her. I don't particularly think she's hanging upon me or anything but she IS an important friend of mine and I think that I should go. Nura's extended a nice hand of invitation to me already. Most likely I will sound her out and hang out with them, but I'm Really hoping I can have my dear little cousin with me as company.
Oh well. I might as well just resign myself to that fact. I mean it's probably going to be like that. I will never work up the courage to ask him, and it's not as if I'll feel any more comfortable with him either. He's not chong or md noor. It's totally different. He's almost an alien.
Not in that sense but you know what I mean.
It's just a wedding, for goodness sake. Pull yourself together you fool.
Oh my, I've got tuition before then. Got to write that in. I've got a sort of security about me looking at my calendar and all my events written down nicely and neatly in front of me, ready for perusal at any go, always updated. I get round to updating it pretty often which is why.
Why'm I banging about this for? Oh yeah, saw him online. Oh well. Shall resign myself to that fact and let it go.
Had a bang up argument with the mam just now, but I've decided not to care and stop having any more bang ups. I've realised that I've actually become pretty good at controlling my anger, except one time - when I'm PMSing. Apparently just now was one of those times. Funny everytime I lose my temper it's during that one time, when I'm expecting. Oh well, who careth.
I hope SY-chan gets the message from her mother. I am quite looking forward to meeting her this thursday, it's a break from the monotony. I think it's quite stupid really, the comment that I keep going out with my friends. The last time I went out with anybody was on the, um....16. Yep, Friday with Jennifer. You could say another time was the following monday with my cousins and sister, but they aren't friends, they're family. So that makes it about 2 and a half weeks. I'd define "always going out" as going out every week or every day or something. But I've gone out with my friends a grand total of Four Times. Once with Jen, twice with chong and muk, and once with chong and we only just had lunch because nobody was cooking at home and we had to feed ourselves. Four times...in two months.
the mother is up but it's not as if I can go to sleep. I think I"ll lie in bed and maybe listen to the radio, maybe there's something funny to hear or something.