teh woops
12:40 AM
blogger is being excruciatingly slow. in fact, beyond excruciatingly slow. but let's not dwell on that. The Internet is but a creation of man.urh no ngaji today. Part of me is pissed because I coulda gone out with nadiah if i'd known earlier. The other part of me is Even More Pissed because I hate missing ngaji. I was just about to go to juzuk 4!!! That part of me is the most pissed of all, but oh well, what to do. Can't depend on people. I can't wait for school to start because hopefully kak mar will still continue with the tasmi' Qur'an. I'm beginning to figure out that she used sama'a for that one. I was wondering what it meant. Tahmid lah (hamada? being grateful?) tasmid lah (samada? lagi aku tak tau) then i realise it's probably tasmi'.
Anyway, I realised that I probably didn't really wanna go out with her and the rest of the guys today. I'm okay going out with anybody else but her, noor and malymaly. maybe maly2 pun ok. But not them. It's too weird. I know, I'm a very bad person. But sorry. Like I told mar, I don't want to be caught up in the entrapments of the past. (how poetic.) That's why I've decided to heck them and hang out with mar so that I can have some peace of mind. I also do not mind hanging out - not do not mind, but I still look forward to - with fiefie, nurul, shad yadda2. camy pun aku would avoid if i could. I'm a terrible person but sorry. My survival instincts are more important.
Not only today lah. For the rest of my friggin' life until I can look at them and not feel sad.
So yeah, made up excuses. Actually I didn't really, I really am busy. Tapie as far as possible aku takkan hang around with them. If I wanna go places, I'll just go myself. I'm probably tons happier like that. It's kinda cool strolling around Orchard like a lone cat.
But so far I haven't lied or anything. I don't think I need to anyway. I really am busy. I have said that a million times hahahahahhaa. I guess it's just that I don't feel the least bit sorry that I won't have the chance to hang with them. I'm perfectly content hanging out with chong, muk, hafie yadda2. that's from that gang. I'm perfectly fine with hanging out with hafie and joining silat with her.
but other than that, I'll probably spend my waking moments with mar or peiwen. or dollie. or reeza. non-gang people.
cheers.